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Student of Languages & Literature | Relationships, Self-Growth, Feminism, Writing || Join my newsletter:

The behaviour they avoid, and how they make you feel

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I’ve had my fair share of unsuccessful relationships.

Sometimes I was the one to blame. Sometimes they were. More often than not, it was a mixture of both — our unhealthy behaviour merged into one big disaster of miscommunication and feelings of resentment.

Sounds familiar?

Over the years, I’ve sorted through lots of information on relationships and psychological behaviour, and I analysed this in the context of my own experiences. …

I let go of my soulmate and found healthy love instead.

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Once upon a time, I had a soulmate.

She was my best friend. We were so alike, so codependent, our personalities so intertwined with each other, that we ended up destroying our 10-year long friendship.

It turned toxic.

Whether you believe in soulmates or not isn’t relevant — I believe she was one because we understood each other on an unexplainable level, because we always knew what the other one was thinking, because we could predict our actions perfectly.

Because I couldn’t imagine existing without her.

Skip forward to now — I haven’t spoken to her in a year and…

Why tackling emotional baggage as a team leads to self-improvement.

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Baggage. We all have it.

We carry it with us from relationship to relationship, hoping other people will save us, hoping we’re long past the point where our confusing feelings caused problems with our partners.

And yet.

We try to change our behavior countless times, we bang our head against the wall, picking our brain for a solution to all this mess, we cry and punish ourselves for punishing the ones we love. We want to change.

And yet.

We want a healthy relationship, a peaceful home full of stability and kindness.


It’s not the baggage, it’s how you handle it

I don’t know one single person who…

I was awful at taking care of plants — until I learned these 5 lessons

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I used to be the worst plant mom you can imagine. My house plants always died, no matter how much I tried — or didn’t — to keep them alive. Every year, I gave this plant-owning business a try. Every year, I failed.

Until now.

I am currently in the possession of seven (!) plants, and they’re all in a thriving or at least an alright state. …

How scent and attraction go hand-in-hand

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Sometimes, I worry I might eat my boyfriend because he smells so good. Not kidding. Well, maybe a little.

After being long-distance for 6 months, I finally get to be with my boyfriend for a few weeks now – and the longer I’m with him, the better he smells to me.

It’s like I literally want to bury myself in his skin and live there until the day I die. Suffocating on his scent would actually be the perfect way to go.

But why does his scent make me go so crazy? Why do I feel like an aggressive animal…

The secret to success is not a secret at all

A photo of the author

One year ago, I posted my first article on Medium. 12 months and $5,324 later, here we are. Medium has made it possible for me to earn my living doing what I love – writing.

$5K doesn’t buy you first-class tickets to the Bahamas and a yacht, but to a student who used to survive on cheap noodles, it’s a life-changing sum of money. Don’t even get me started on the financial opportunities outside of Medium that opened up to me thanks to writing on this platform (*cough* Newsbreak).

Like many other writers, I’ve always been told the chances of…

And this is the one solution that’s helped me

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For the past three months, I’ve been in a writing rut. Not just any writing rut — a Medium writing rut, to be precise.

Let’s be honest. It’s quite normal to be excited about writing one day and feel completely lazy and unmotivated the next. Been there, done that — writing is a craft, but it’s also a passion, a hobby, a calling… and sometimes, it just doesn’t flow.

Writing can be tightly connected to your mental state, and when you’re on the verge of depression and just all in all unhappy in your life like I used to be…

Here are my 4 tips.

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If you’ve never heard of love languages, here’s a quick explanation: There are five ways of showing affection (according to the theory, anyway). The way you show and like to receive affection obviously affects your relationships, so it’s great to know what you’re big on and what you don’t much care for.

The five love languages are: physical touch (you’re a cuddle monster), gift-giving (self-explanatory), words of affirmation (saying ‘I love you’ five times a day? No problem!), acts of service (you’re big on actions rather than words) and… quality time.

Let me present to you the high-maintenance, attention-seeking, absolutely-wonderful-if-you’re-into-deep-connections…

Body positivity is easy when there’s nobody to judge you

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The moment the first lockdown happened, I quickly started gaining weight.

Lots of take-out, the lack of exercise in a global pandemic, and living in a bubble of happiness with my newfound love all contributed to the change my body was going through.

The first time I noticed I was gaining weight, it caught me by surprise. I’ve always been very skinny, and just before lockdown, I was at about 54 kilograms (I’m 169 centimeters tall) and I was in one of the skinniest periods of my life. …

They all offer valuable insight no matter when you pick them up

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Here’s one thing I love about my local library app: It keeps offering me incredible e-books right when I need them.

In March 2021, there was a whole section of books on feminism and women’s issues to celebrate Women’s History Month, which gave me many reading options to choose from.

I ended up picking 4 contemporary books, all in completely different formats. They all deal with women’s issues brilliantly and offer valuable insight no matter when you pick them up.

Ready? Go!

I am an Emotional Creature by Eve Ensler

Kate Feathers

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